I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
