i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
