I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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