He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my poor anus
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
