i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
