Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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