Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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