TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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