I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
