I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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