I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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