does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
