i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
