Don't you send me to vm
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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