she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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