I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
