Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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