you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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