thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
