I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
honey bunches of taint.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
