garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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