I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
