who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
