please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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