Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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