The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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