I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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