I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my poor anus
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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