he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
