Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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