You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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