i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
