Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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