I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
