And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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