I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
