Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
