If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
there is glitter all over my balls
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