Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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