He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
