You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
