physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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