i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
