There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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