addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my shit smells like andre
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
