did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
