the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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