I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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