First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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