The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize