So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
