i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
