turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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