She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
