Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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