I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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