take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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