My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
