Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
