apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
