and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
