He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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