imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
